


Lux Aeterna

by HandsOfGold



Category: Powerwolf (Band)
Genre: Cheesy, Fluff, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, SO MUCH FLUFF, but it's over now don't worry!!, just can't keep my fingers off the angst, seriously the fluff is tooth rotting, the actual wedding is in chapter 4/5, the rest is other fluffy stuff in preparation, wedding fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandsOfGold/pseuds/HandsOfGold
Summary: "You've saved my life, saved me in every way a person can be saved. Without you I'd be rotting in a grave without ever having known heaven. Because heaven is not a distant place, heaven is here on earth with you. You've given me so much and I finally want to give something back to you: I want to give myself to you. I want to be yours, and with you forever."ORMatthew and Roel get married and this fic has it all.
Relationships: Matthew Greywolf/Roel van Helden, mentioned Attila Dorn/Falk Maria Schlegel/Jenny Dorn, mentioned Charles Greywolf/Helen Vogt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cardinal__sin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardinal__sin/gifts).



> After a year of sitting around in my drafts this is finally getting published as a gift for my dear Cardi! I hope you enjoy!!

An altar was, admittedly, not the best or most appropriate place for two men to lie in each other's arms and watch the night sky through the dusty windows of the abandoned chapel of which neither of them knew whether it was desecrated or not. But then again, rules didn't always apply to the couple.

The stars were partly unveiled, partly covered by dusty stains on the window of painted glass or thin cotton clouds. The scenes painted on ceiling and windows were faded from age, but every here and there there was a clear pair of eyes, a religious figure staring down at them with unmoved eyes, eternally frozen in this posture and their pain or joy or whatever they were going through at this particular moment. The two men wished to be frozen in one of those little, perfect shared moments, too.

They'd been together through five years of hardships and the utmost happiness imaginable. Growing ever more happier they felt nothing alike to growing tired of each other. Together they were healing and growing, safer than either of them could ever have imagined to be before. The deserted chapel was a safe space for them, but they made every place a safe space for each other. This place in particular, however, was something special to them, almost sacred.

Roel's fingers ran through Matthew's long hair that was curled from the rain they'd encountered on their way through the woods, to the chapel's location. It reminded him of when they'd first found the place, dripping wet from a sudden summer thunderstorm, glad to have found shelter. They had returned frequently after this first occasion.

Today's rain had only been a light, warm shower sprayed over their heads, barely enough to make them shiver but enough to curl Matthew's hair this way. It was a warm night and the majority of their clothes lay dropped on the first row benches where once the faithful must have sat and knelt in prayer. The chapel must have been deserted in a hurry, or otherwise the priest's wardrobe and the candles they'd found during their first visit would surely have been taken away. Whether it had been desecrated or not remained uncertain, but in the three years in which they'd known it there had been no signs of another visitor than them.  
It was a beautiful chapel indeed, Matthew could not understand how it could have been abandoned and forgotten in this way. The paintings were great works of art, barely any of the adorations he had seen in churches or chapels so far (having been raised strictly Catholic, it had been lots of them) could compete with their artistic finery and beauty. But maybe this was a place fate had reserved only for the two of them...  
He curled up in Roel's arm. The warmth of his boyfriend seemed to erase the chill creeping from the stone of the simple altar through the wool blanket they'd brought. He was happy in these seconds, these hours in their own private sanctuary (that did not belong to them at all, but that somehow did belong to them after all).

"Darling?" Roel whispered suddenly. The perfect silence was broken, but the moment had not been destroyed. Specks of dust kept dancing in the ray of moonlight that pushed itself in front of the window continuously.

"Yes?" Matthew asked back, drawing closer to his lover's warmth. He closed his eyes and the lights of the night kept shining beneath his eyelids. He waited.

"Roel?" he breathed after a while, unsure about whether Roel had wanted to speak to him.

"There you are. I thought you'd fallen asleep," said Roel, smiling affectionately. He fell silent once again. After a while, he drew in breath, drew in his boyfriend's trusted scent.

"Matthew, would you... would you ever marry me?" Matthew was still, suddenly tense. Roel must have noticed, for he touched his shoulder lightly and started speaking, interrupted by Matthew after only one single letter.

"You know that we can't."

"It's legal in the Netherlands."

"But not in Germany. And as much as I love you, we cannot move away from here. I could, probably, not..."

"But if it were?" Roel asked softly, caressing his boyfriend's bare shoulder.

"If we could, would you marry me?" Matthew felt himself relaxing in Roel's warm and loving embrace, under his touch. He had to smile.

"If we could, I would marry you on the spot."


	2. II.

The tour was over at last, and even though touring was always a great experience it was as draining as it was enjoyable. Tours were hard times, leaving both of them physically exhausted beyond measure, even though they loved few things as much as standing on stage. And so it had become a kind of tradition for the two of them to retreat to a lonely place in the middle of Nothing for two weeks after having spent one back at home.

This time they happened to have chosen a beautiful small house by the edge of the sea. Its walls were white and there was a wooden veranda in front of it, perched on top of a sandy cliff, with a ladder to climb right down into the almost clear blue sea. It was late summer, September had just begun, and the days were warm and hazy and dreaming of autumn already while the sun was always golden in the sky.  
In the evenings, evenings like this one, they'd walk down the beach for miles, farther almost every day, until they'd find a restaurant or bar to eat and drink and watch the sunset it. If they didn't find anything particularly fitting their current needs they'd go back home to cook by themselves.

But tonight, in the direction of the beach in which they hadn't walked on the previous days, they happened to find a stunning, cozy, little restaurant that nestled to a rocky cliff, its terrace above the sea water. They ate and drank, enjoying the sounds of waves and seagulls and the presence of each other. To Roel it seemed that Matthew had never been as beautiful and wonderful as he was that day.  
While Matthew was talking his cheeks would turn red, he would press fingers against his face to check the warmth and blush even more if he found it heated. His eyes were glowing and whenever he looked into Roel's eyes his own would shine like two stars. His smile was genuine and happy, despite him becoming slightly tipsy it was not induced by a drunken haze.

They sat on two chairs on the opposite ends of a table for two, so small that their feet and knees were constantly touching. Every now and then Matthew's hand would rest on Roel's knee or search for his hand to hold it under the table. Every now and then Roel would search for Matthew's hand just to hold it and reassure himself that this man was truly sitting here with him, the man with starry eyes and the sweetest smile. And every now and then Roel's hand would wander to the pockets of his pants, to the rectangular box he kept in there, touching it gently while asking himself if the right time had come already.

They walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, both tipsy and flushed but clear in mind. The sand made it hard to walk especially for Matthew who, unlike Roel, was not used to jogging or even walking in it. Matthew would stumble against Roel's shoulder, letting out a shy chuckle and brushing his hair back every single time. Roel would kiss his warm cheek every time.

The beach was dark, only their silhouettes could be seen in the decreasing light of the sun beyond the horizon. The moon and stars were slowly growing brighter in the nightly sky. Matthew was talking about something that Roel barely understood, so busy was he watching every movement of his beloved, amazed by every second that he saw him, was with him.

The second he noticed what he was doing was the second he knew.

He gripped the box in his pocket so tightly that it would have crumbled, hadn't it been made from solid wood. He was unsure still, tensing up only slightly but enough to make Matthew freeze in his tale of whatever.  
"Are you alright?" Matthew asked, looking at his lover from the side.

"Yeah- yeah," Roel muttered quickly, embarrassed as if he had been caught looking somewhere he shouldn't look.

"I was just thinking..." Well... what had he been thinking? He chose the truth.

"I was just thinking about how... how perfect you are. Of course you're not perfect because nobody is, but to me you're perfect. I was just thinking about how it can be possible that I see you all the time and yet I don't grow tired, but only more amazed of you. You're extraordinary, really, Matthew, and what I really wanted to tell you was..."

He took a deep breath, let go of Matthew in his arm and went down onto one knee into the sand, taking one of Matthew's hands in one, the box in his other hand.

"...was that I love you, and I love you more with every day. Do you remember this one, rainy night in the chapel? I asked you if you would marry me, would marry me if we could and now..."

They both fell silent, gazing into each other's eyes despite the darkness. Things had changed, they knew, things had become different. Roel could feel Matthew's hand shivering in his own.

"...now I'm asking you if you will. Matthew, I'm asking you this because I love you and I want to spend all my life with you and I want everybody to know that I am yours and you are mine. Matthew, will you marry me?"

He opened the box with the simple silver ring, like two interwoven threads that wound around each other eternally. The moon fell onto the shiny metal as it was revealed. Roel looked up at Matthew, sensing the tears glistening in his eyes.

"Oh my god yes!" he pressed out with a lump in his throat.

"Yes, I will marry you. I will. There's nothing that'd I'd rather do. I love you so much and I want to be yours for everyone to see. I will!"

Roel laughed in tears of joy and relief, putting the ring on Matthew's ring finger before he put an identical ring onto his own hand. Slightly shaking he got up only to be met by his boyfriend falling against him, embracing him, kissing him over and over again until their silhouettes melted into one.


	3. III.

"Oh my god, this stuff is killing me!" Matthew cried out, pushing his desk chair away from the desk. He pointed at the laptop in front of him, throwing up his arms in exasperation.

"How am I supposed to know about colour harmony between yellow and literally any other colour? What do i even need this for? This is my wedding, can't I just decorate it the way I want to have it?" He grabbed the mouse and angrily closed the internet tab, then leaned back in his chair and breathed out with relief.

"No worries, I'm not gonna let it kill you," Roel smiled and put an arm around him from behind.

"You know we don't have to do it on our own. If the first checking is driving you mad like this, the actual preparations might actually give you a heart attack..."

"But I don't want a wedding planner who doesn't know shit about me and plans some polished, perfect... whatever that nobody really feels comfortable with," Ben replied miserably.

"I wasn't talking about a wedding planner, darling," Roel said, "at least not about a professional one. I know somebody who likes planning, who knows us very well and who will be overexcited about planning this with or for us."

"You're talking about..."

"...Falk," they finished the sentence together, looked at each other and broke into laughter. But Matthew returned to his miserable expression very soon.

"He doesn't know anything about this yet, though."

"Then we'll tell him."

"He can't know before our families do..." Matthew sighed. Roel looked at him compassionately. Even though Matthew's mother and father had never openly cast out their son their relationship was certainly not the warmest, and it had not helped that Matthew was in a relationship with a man. His parents had to be told - but neither of them wanted to do it.

"I can't talk to them," Matthew said with a heavy sigh.

"I haven't had a word with them in months, I can't show up at their house to burst out with news like these, but I can't just send them a card and... if they show up... talk to them then..." He faltered and lowered his head.

"I'll be with you," Roel calmed him down.

"We don't have to go to them if you can't, I understand. We can do something else, we can call, we can-"

"Not today." Matthew looked up with a begging look in his eyes.

"Please. Not today."

"Not today," Roel confirmed.

"But we have to tell Falk as soon as possible."

"As soon as possible?" Matthew laughed.

"We haven't even set a date!"

"Speaking of..." Roel grinned sheepishly as he saw the look with which Matthew regarded him.

"Sorry darling, I like my schedules."

Matthew had to laugh again before he got up and kissed his fiance, wrapping both his arms around Roel's neck. He stood there, calmed by his presence, and all the tasks of the future seemed only half as hard.

\---

"Who's speaking?"

Roel squeezed Matthew's hand reassuringly. His boyfriend swallowed hard, no words wanted to come from his throat.

"Hello? Is there anyone speaking?"

Matthew's mother must have heard the heavy breathing on the other end, for Roel could hear her keeping on asking for someone on the other end. He kept holding Matthew's hand tight, and then, when his mother was about to hang up again, he spoke very quietly.

"It's me... mother," he whispered. His grip on Roel's hand became so tight that Roel felt pain, but Ben was holding onto him for his life so he did not let go.

"Oh..." Matthew's mother on the other end gasped audibly, "Matthew?"

"Yeah, it's me."

On the other hand of the phone there was a rumour, the phone seemed to be covered and voices were hissing in the background. Then there was a harsh, male voice to be heard, making Matthew flinch.

"Is that really you, Matthew?"

"Yes, father, it's really me."

"What makes you call us now, son?" Matthew closed his eyes, fighting back tears that came at the sound of his father's harsh accusations.

"I have something to tell you and Mother. I wanted you to know before..."

"Before what?" The voice of Matthew's father was sharp as a knife now. The man was well over sixty years and still as fierce as he had been in his best years.

"Father, we're getting married. Me and... me and Roel. You know him. We're getting married." Silence on the other end, stunned, woven with disbelief. Then-

"Ah. It's legal now, isn't it?" It.

"Yes, Father." Matthew took a deep breath. His tone became stronger.

"Same-sex-marriage is legal now."

"Ah." A grumbling, then Matthew's mother was back on the phone.

"Will you send us an invitation?"

"Yes, of course, mother," Matthew hurried to say.

"Ah..." There was uncomfortable silence between mother and son for a few moments. Then Matthew's mother said, a little stiffly:

"I thought you'd never get a...nyone"

Matthew laughed softly, a laugh in which his response ("Neither did I") was put so that he did not need to utter it.

"See you, mother."

"See you, Ben."

As he hung up he stood there, staring at the empty display of the phone for a few seconds before his hand sank down and he sank against his boyfriend's chest, tears of relief and anger and emotion spilling from his eyes.

\---

"You're getting married? You two?" Falk, sitting on the couch in the couple's flat, leaned forward and scanned their eyes.

"Why are you so confused?" asked Matthew in the same second that Falk said: "There's no way in hell..."

"Okay, calm down you guys," Roel interrupted.

"Yes, it's true. We're getting married-"

"Okay, honestly, I'd never have... anyways how awesome! When? Where? How's it gonna be?"

"Well..." Matthew said, a little sheepishly, "...that's kinda... up to you."

"We want you to plan the wedding," Roel took over.

"I mean, if you'd like to. We're not forcing-"

"Like to?" Falk looked at them with huge eyes, a smile on his face.

"I'd absolutely love to do this for you! Do you have any ideas about the whole thing yet?"

"We thought-" Roel began, but the ringing of the house phone interrupted. He sighed as he got up to answer it.

"Roel van Helden here, who's- yes, oma, it's me! Good to hear from you." Walking over into the adjacent kitchen he switched into Dutch and continued the phone call, leaving Matthew and Falk alone in the living room.

"This was really unexpected," Falk explained his initial reaction, "but I'm... happy. Yes, I'm happy for you two. A few years ago I wouldn't have believed you'd..."

"I'd ever find somebody to get me out of all the shit I was in?" Matthew asked softly.

"You're one of my closest friends. You're allowed to name it."

"Yeah, someone to get you out of all the shit you were in. Hell, I tried my best and failed."

"And you're one of the most caring people I've ever encountered."

"Roel changed you," Falk noticed. Matthew smiled.

"He changed everything. And I... this sounds so cheesy but I love him more with everything day. And I can't wait to finally say the vows to him."

Falk had to smile too. He threw an arm around Matthew's shoulder and hugged him shortly but tightly, a gesture of amicable affection that Matthew returned happily. Then Roel walked back in.

"It's my grandmother, she wants to talk to you," he whispered at his beloved who raised his eyebrows and got up. On the phone he was greeted by the cheerful voice of Roel's ninety-two-year-old grandmother whose condition was as good as her accent was thick.

"Hartelijk gefeliciteerd!" her voice came to his ear and he believed he could hear a cheering noise in the background.

"Thank you!" he said joyfully.

"I don't have much to say to you," Roel's grandmother Hella told him (she was a very straightforward person), "just that I'm happy for you two. I'm beyond happy. I can't believe my grandson got such a wonderful man! I'd honestly have thought he'd never get married, let alone make a good match!"

"I'm happy to have a man as wonderful as your grandson," Matthew said, gazing at Roel as he spoke.

\---

"Matthew please hit me."

"Excuse me... what?"

Roel groaned.

"Hit me, I said. I deserve to be hit. Tell me, when was I so stupid as to ask Falk to prepare this wedding? I should have known that he'd plan EVERY FUCKING DETAIL of it and leave nothing out. Why can't the people choose where to sit? Jeez..."

"Oh poor darling," Matthew said and came over to his lover to check the messages he exchanged with their friend personal wedding planner.

"Besides," Roel continued, "he's going to make everybody find out. Especially Attila. And not even Charles could be as oblivious as to not notice the literal books he's got."

"He's more enthusiastic than we are." Matthew raised his eyebrow.

"Should we worry about that?"

Roel stood up and cupped his boyfriend's cheeks in his hands. He smiled at Matthew.

"He's enthusiastic about planning. We are enthusiastic about getting married. And believe me, Falk could never feel the way we do about this day." Matthew sighed, smiled, and kissed Roel deep.

"Now let's see," he said.

"How do we arrange the tables...? Not one big table, I'd say. There should be one for us and close family and best men... one for the rest of our familes... several ones for friends... and we shouldn't just pair up those who know each other well."

"You really can do this with some impulse given," Roel noted before he scratched his chin.

"Speaking of best men... let me guess, you're going to ask Charles."

"Is it really that predic... okay yes, it is. Yes, I'm going to ask Charles. As soon as we tell him."

"Then we should do that. Soon. And well, I don't know who I should ask yet."

\---

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Charles asked as Matthew had let him in and the two men had sat down on the couch. Roel was absent, the friends were alone, Matthew was nervous.

"So... we've been friends for a while. A long while."

"Yeees..." Charles nodded slowly. He looked slightly concerned.

"And we've been best friends for almost as long. We trust each other. And... oh damnit!" Matthew shook his head.

"This is getting too awkward. I'm gonna get to the point right now. You know they legalized same sex marriage not too long ago and well... we're getting married. Roel and me. And I'm asking you to be my best man because... well, because you're really my best man. My best friend. It would mean a lot to me if you said yes." For a second Charles stared at him, bewildered.

"This is crazy! You two, getting married... I could never have imagined it, honestly, but of course! Yes!"

\---

The day was approaching fast. A location had been booked, registry appointment made, food and drink organized. Falk had bombarded them with ideas for decorations and cakes, together they had designed and signed the invitation cards. They had told their closest friends and Roel had chosen his best man, his closest childhood friend to whom he still kept a close relationship. They had decided to only invite family and close friends, making the wedding a more intimate experience that should take place at the small chapel in the forest that was their favourite place.

The evening before they were sitting on the balcony after a stressful day, eating dinner and enjoying the warm sunset of late June. Both of them were glad to catch some breath.

"Do you feel... kind of odd, like me?" Matthew suddenly asked shyly.

"I'm glad you addressed it... yes, it's feeling so surreal," answered Roel.

"When I think back to the day I met you I'd never have believed it could come to this one day. I'd never even have believed anyone could ever save you. I am so thankful the universe has led the two of us together, but it does feel odd that we're really at this point... at the point where I can safely say I have found the one person I want to grow old with."

"Yes, I feel the same..." Matthew muttered. He stared down at his fingers.

"You don't have to say anything," Roel said lovingly.

"Just come over here and let me hold you."

Matthew scrambled from his chair into Roel's lap, who laid back with him on the big lounger that was styled like a bed and filled half of the balcony alone. Roel pulled his boyfriend close, holding him softly but pressed against his body. They were exhausted from the long preparations, tired and drained yet beyond excited for the coming day. Being with each other gave them strength and solace, calmness at the same time.

Matthew began humming a quiet tune he had probably just made up, a tune that sounded like a ballad without the sadness that he'd used to put into the slower songs he wrote. It had taken years for him to become comfortable with singing or even humming in front of Roel, but Roel loved it when he did. He closed his eyes and the lovely tune accompanied him into a light slumber.


	4. IV.

"Charles, I think I might throw up," Matthew said dead seriously.

"No, you aren't throwing up," Charles replied simply.

"I know you and you aren't."

"I am if all of this can't happen a little faster!"

Matthew and Charles were alone in one of the back rooms of their local registry office. Roel and his best man would be waiting in the adjacent room while their guests were taking their seats in the small office that held all of the invited guests comfortably.

"You two really do love each other," Charles suddenly commented. Matthew looked at him with confusion.

"Of course we do. We're getting married today, it wouldn't be ideal if we didn't love each other."

"No I mean like, you love each other in a very unique way. It's very different from the way that I love Helen for example. Every love is different from our love, and I feel like..."

"Every love is different," Matthew interrupted him.

"You love Helen differently than I love Roel. I love him differently than he loves me. He lives me differently than Falk loves Attila and Attila loves Falk differently than he loves Jenny. Each love is a unique kind of love that should be cherished as such."

"But still... you two are different," Charles insisted.

"Look at yourself now and look at yourself ten years ago. Hell, even the day before you met Roel you were so screwed up I couldn't, in my wildest dreams, have hoped I could ever sit with you in a registry office and wait for your wedding with the... man you love. Roel and you have had such a big impact on each others' lives. He changed you."

"He saved me," said Matthew quietly and his smile was full of love.

"Without him I wouldn't have survived. I barely remember the time before he came into my life, it's all just agiant blur. He was like a light, you see, he burned me out and helped me create myself again. I owe him all I am."

"And that is your love." Charles nodded.

"That's the bond between you. It's not something that happens to everyone, it's very special. It is."

"Every love is special, Charles," Matthew said softly, "because in a way everyone needs to be saved by their love. True love is salvation, true love is like a haven. True love is change, whether it is a small change or going from somebody who can't utter a coherent sentence because they're constantly too drunk and high to somebody who philosophizes about love to their best friend. That's what love is all about. Roel changed me, yes. So did I change Roel. So did you and Helen change each other. And so it all comes together in the end."

Charles closed his eyes, processing Matthew's words. Then, when he was just about to reply, a nock at the door interrupted him and he nodded to his best friend.

"I think it's about time."

\---

Nothing in this world could ever have prepared Roel for the moment he first laid eyes on his boyfriend as his groom.

His eyes had been wandering through the rows of family and close friends, had seen his mother and father, his grandmother close to tears already. Attila with an odd expression between frowning and grinning and Falk and Jenny so close to him the three bodies were pressed together. He'd seen Matthew's parents, the man and woman he knew only from pictures, and a strange man he couldn't quite name. But they all vanished when Matthew entered the room.

The moment they spotted each other their nervous grins turned into radiant smiles. They stepped towards each other, to their assigned chairs in front of the desk where the middle aged man who would wed them was standing already. The golden tapestry of the walls had turned into blurry, golden light that enclosed the two of them alone. As they sat down, Matthew's hand slipped into Roel's.

"Today we have gathered here for the unification of a love so true and vital that its story may be life changing," the man, Mr. Braun, began speaking.

"I could never dare to try and pronounce this story, nor could I put it into own words. I shall let the pair itself speak in my place, for their mouths will utter their story better than anyone else ever could."  
The pair exchanged a quick look before they both stood up, facing each other with their hands still intertwined. It was Matthew who started speaking.

"Roel," he said and he blushed, "you can believe me that I have written a thousand speeches, finished some, left more unfinished. But I knew that none of them could be suitable to what I'd be experiencing in this very moment, so I decided to let my heart speak. Hear it now.

Nine years and three months ago was the day I first got to know about you. It was Christmas eve, but I had lost the perception of time so I called you while you were eating dinner with your family and you were nothing but bewildered to hear a strange, slurring guy offer you a session job in another country."

From the rows of relatives they could hear Roel's grandmother snickering. Attila tried to suppress his - surprisingly affectionate - groaning.

"Three days later I met you and from that day you've been turning my life around. You've never stopped. Since that day you hastily packed your things to start that job and be that drummer we desperately needed there has hardly been a day I haven't seen you, and every day without you has been beyond lonely.

I know I have disappointed you many times. Have caused you pain." - at this point Roel shook his head under tears - "You never stopped believing in me. All you do is love me even more, after every failure you kept supporting me. I used to believe I am unworthy of your love, but you did everything you could to make me unlearn this thought.

Still I wonder how your love could fall on someone- on me, specifically. I lie in your arms at night and I cannot find the answer. But then I think, what does it matter how it fell on me? What matters is that it did. That it does. That you're always here.

You're my everything, Roel. You've saved my life, saved me in every way a person can be saved. Without you I'd be rotting in a grave without ever having known heaven. Because heaven is not a distant place, heaven is here on earth with you. You've given me so much and I finally want to give something back to you: I want to give myself to you. I want to be yours, and with you forever. I love you."

Applause branded in the rows. Roel wanted to speak but his voice drowned in tears of happiness and he had to take time to collect himself until he could start.

"My love," he whispered, "I don't know why the universe has led the two of us together but I thank fate every day that it did. You believe you only take from me but you've given me everything. Your love, too, has saved me, has elated me into heaven and the sweet bliss of home.

You're my home, Matthew. Everything I do is for you. And everything I could tell you here is what I could tell you at any occasion that is not 'special', because with you every single second is special.

I've never been good with words, but I can tell you this one thing: I love you more with every day. I would sacrifice myself for your happiness but I know you would never demand this of me. There's something between us that's stronger than words can name, and this I want to keep alive and nurture. You've given this life a purpose, you've given me endless joy. I love you beyond measure, and I could not be happier to finally become yours today."

Applause again branded. Roel and Matthew held onto each other impatiently as Mr. Braun followed with the standard procedure, barely able to hold themselves back from falling into each other's arms at the very spot.

I declare that I know of no legal reason why Matthew Greywolf may not be joined in marriage to Roel van Helden.

Gripping each other tight, holding on as even the light around them blacked out and all that was left was the other's face.

I promise to love and respect you. Helping our love grow, always being there to listen, comfort and support you, whatever our lives may bring.

I give you this ring as a sign of our love, trust and marriage. I promise to care for you above all others, to give you my love, friendship and support, and to respect and cherish you throughout our life together.  
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and affection, wear it with happiness and pride – now and always.

Rings slipped onto fingers. And they kissed.

The world exploded in blinding colours and applause like huge waves. Sobbing was drowned out by the noise. The first kiss was short, short enough to bring them back into reality and stare into the eyes of their loved ones.

Roel's parents were in each other's arms, tears running down their smiling cheeks. His grandmother wore a big smile as she dried her tears with a tissue of cloth. Falk was crying without shame, Jenny applauded heavily. Charles and Helen were looking at the pair and at each other, shedding happy tears. Wetness was even in Attila's eyes, who didn't even bother to hide it. Matthew's parents were holding hands, clapping shyly and touching their happy tears away as his brother was smiling as shyly as Matthew's parents clapped.

It didn't matter now who he was. Roel pulled his newlywed husband close, tight to his body, and united them in a deep kiss that didn't seem to end and plunged them into endless depths of never experienced emotions.

They kissed as a married couple.


	5. V.

The chapel in the woods was not as abandoned as it had been before. Twenty five people - a small circle, admittedly - had gathered there to celebrate the wedding.

Matthew was holding Roel's hand, both still dazed by the event of their marriage, and they were walking around hand in hand greeting all of the guests (most of them again as they had already been greeted before). They were both beaming as though it was a contest, though neither seriously wanted to beat the other. Instead they wanted to transfer as much of their light as possible onto the other - and their guests.

\--

"I have to admit I was suspicious when I first heard about you, Benjamin. A man from a strange country that my best friend had known for few days only, a man - and excuse me - with your lifestyle... I feared that Roel would destroy himself trying to get to you.

But I witnessed another thing. Every time Roel spoke of you his eyes began to glow and his smile became so soft and loving. He cried about you but I witnessed how you filled him with joy and love more and more with every day. I'd never witnessed anything like that before. It was as if a certain emptiness would be filled and Roel would come to life by your love. That's when I knew that this man he was talking about truly had to be special.

Now we are here today and I still see your love, see it more than before. I could not be happier to see the unification of two people that are both so dear to me, but much more dear to each other. I will not bore you with long speeches, all I have to say is - here's to the happy couple!"

\- best man's speech, Rob van der Loo

"Matthew, once you told me - technically nine hours ago, but definitely once - that love means mutual salvation. I've been thinking about this and the more I think the more I can say that it is true.  
I'm still not sure what happy twist in fate has brought us to this day, because I could not have dreamt to ever witness it but here we are. To see two of my best friends so happy is everything I could have wished for and more.

I remember you in secondary school, Matthew, how you were sitting alone, shyly looking after people, and all the boys were whispering about how you'd never find a girlfriend with that attitude and they were right, as we see. Not that that's a bad thing. Because instead you're sitting here with a boyfriend - a husband - that you have described as heaven sent at multiple occasions and you're the happiest I've ever seen you.

'Love is mutual salvation. Love is change.' I think we all can see how you two have changed each other for the better. Let us raise our glasses to the future of these two, and may it continue to fill their lives with joy"

\- best man's speech, Charles Greywolf

\---

The afternoon passed. Matthew and Roel had walked amidst their guests, receiving congratulations from everybody including Matthew's own parents who were trying to approach him with heartfelt joy. The awkwardness between them was apparent but it was a big step to talk to them in person again.

Hearing the words "We apologize" and "We'll always support you" from them was as sweet as anything could ever be.

By nightfall people were joyful. Music was playing, danceable rock music with the occasional ballad in between, and they were dancing and eating and drinking in between. Then, in the silence between two songs, the sound of a fork on glass could be heard, causing the DJ to turn down the music.

It was Attila who'd climbed the few steps leading up to the entrance into the chapel. He was raising his glass, demanding silence for a speech. Falk was facepalming already.

"Dear ladies and gentlemen!" Attila raised his trained voice above the last few whispers. It sounded like a preacher's captivating words.

"We have gathered here today to celebrate the new marriage of Matthew and Roel here" (he pointed to the couple) "and there are some things I'd have to say about that marriage!" His voice was not slurred the slightest bit, not surprisingly as Attila was a big guy who could hold a lot of alcohol.

"I've known Matthew for many many years and I always assumed he just was like that - as fucked as it gets. Things have happened between us to make this assumption"

(Matthew covered his face, Roel could not tell whether he was laughing or ashamed. At his questioning look about the things, Matthew just shook his head)

"and so I can safely say that this guy was one of the weirdest I have ever encountered. Topped by Roel, of course. Man, how that guy annoyed me with his fitness on tour! I have to admit, I've cursed him lots of times!"

Roel nodded his head with a shrug towards the other people. "Guilty as charged" he mouthed. Matthew had caught himself again.

"He seemed to be taking the fun away from our Matthew here," Attila continued, "but then my dear Falki..." 

"...Falk," muttered the addressed who disliked nicknames outside of the bedroom.

"...made me aware that it was probably helping him. Helping! Can you imagine 'helping' to be taking away the fun from tour life? But I watched. And I learned. And man, I still was annoyed by that early bird dude but I began to see the good things.

And now we're here today, seeing baby doll marrying fit early bird, and ever since I found out about it I've been asking myself how the fuck it could come so far! You see, there's got to be a lot of things happening before people marry out of love instead of... tax benefits" (there was laughter from the people) "and it seems we've come that way.

I gotta admit, I still don't understand how this monogamy marriage works, but I'll give them one thing: they do love each other. We've all seen and heard it plenty of times..."

("And we've never heard you and Falk, nope!" cried Roel with a laugh)

"...and by now we're convinced it's real. Maybe marriage will make the lovey-dovey wear off so that we can actually enjoy tour days without dying of cheesiness.

I could never have imagined how somebody like Matthew could change that much. You don't go from two thousand to one - if you know what I mean - unless there's something really special happening. And hey - it's happened! So cheers to Matthew and Roel and cheers to their marriage!"

And he downed his glass as people broke into open laughter and cheering. Only Roel looked at Matthew bewildered and asked slowly: "What the heck happened between you and Attila?"  
Matthew shook his head. "Definitely not now," he said and emptied his own glass.

\---

It was late night. The first people had gone already, Roel's grandmother however seemed to be getting along brilliantly with Attila.

"Don't you screw my grandma," Roel had whispered to him passing by, and Attila had given him a dirty grin that was only meant to provoke him. Now they were chatting and laughing and Attila was probably getting to know about some very embarrassing situations of Roel's childhood and youth that he'd use against him as soon as possible.

Matthew had put his head on Roel's shoulder and was slow dancing with him to the eternal cheesy Metallica classic Nothing Else Matters. Matthew was singing quietly into Roel's ear and his husband held him close, inhaling every word he sang, breathing in his beloved scent and feeling his warmth. There was chocolate cake and red wine on his breath.

Falk had begun dancing with Jenny out of sheer boredom due to Attila's occupation with Oma Hella, Charles and Helen were chatting with Matthew's brother to keep him from awkwardly standing in a corner. Matthew's parents had gone home. Roel's beautiful mother with honey hair and warm brown eyes had been dancing with his best man Rob who'd left her for the ballad. Her husband was only just returning from talking to the barman. The DJ had left and Falk was to take over his duty, a thing they either were looking forward to or feared. Few of their relatives and friends had also remained for dancing.  
"Wasn't this a beautiful day?" Matthew muttered sleepily during the solo of the song where he ceased singing.

"It was..." Roel replied dreamily before he poked his husband's side.

"Hey, don't you fall asleep! We've got a whole night in front of us!"

"In that case I'd better be regenerating my energy," Matthew grinned and his head sank against Roel's chest. They continued dancing slowly and dreamily, unaware how many people were staring at their utopian happiness, unable to hear the words they whispered to each other.

"I can't believe this day... all of this is real," Roel told his beloved whose smile he could feel on his chest.

"Neither can I," said Matthew.

"But isn't it beautiful how we all reach those places we never thought we would get to? The places we can't even comprehend are real because they seem to good to be true?"

"For me it's not a place or a point," Roel whispered lovingly, "it's a person. It's all about you." Matthew looked up and kissed him deeply once again.

"It's incomprehensible how much I love you. It cannot be put into words. I owe you my life and everything in it. I've promised to never leave you and I don't intend to. I'm all yours now, legally, forever."  
"To finally be with you is everything I've ever wanted since we found love," whispered Roel into their kiss.

Falk had taken on the DJ's duties and he played Saturn in Velvet. He was playing their song and they danced on the grass in the forest, in front of their favourite place to be together, underneath the sparkling stars in the velvet blue night sky and somewhere a shooting star fell from heaven and they both wished for eternity


End file.
